November 22, 2011
Today my client, after a session where she seemed quite distracted, told me, with tears in her eyes, that my mother had been in the session with us the entire time and she did not know whether she could/should tell me or not. She said my mother’s energy was very strong and she was very loud, asking my client over and over to please tell me that she was here and that she is sorry. She also asked her to tell me that “they” are always with me.
It will be the 8th anniversary of my mom’s death this weekend.
I am sitting here in my office now, feeling sort of numb. I know what I think this means and yet I’m not really sure what to think. The message was so simple and so I feel there must be more. But, even though “I am sorry” is a simple statement, it is also loaded with opportunities for interpretation. Is she sorry for the part she played in the issues I have been facing these past weeks? Or is it something more complex than that? And, if there is more to this message, maybe the understanding of what it means is yet to come. And maybe this is simply just another confirmation that I am in the right place, for now. Things lining up. Channels opening. Or maybe there is an urgency for this message to be heard now. Certainly my mom could have come into any previous session with this client, as I have been seeing her for several years now. I don’t know for sure, but what I do know is that it happened for a reason.
After my client left, I stood in my office and tried to feel my mother’s energy, but I couldn’t. I looked around to see if something caught my attention – a sign or a symbol or an intuitive sense about something I could do to connect, but nothing did. I spoke out loud to my mother asking for clarity about this message, but there was none.
It was just a gift in that moment, to be used as I see fit, I guess.
There have been so many remarkable occurrences since 11/11/11 that I am convinced that the gateway I passed through in my meditation at 11:11 on 11/11/11 really did lead me to a new vibration. I’m not the same person I was 11 days ago. I’m not making the same choices or telling the same story. And yes, crazy as it sounds, it was precisely 11 days from the time of my meditation at 11:11 on 11/11/11 to the time my client shared this information with me, sometime after 11:00 on 11/22/11.
From November 23, 2011
If the one thing I have been asking the universe to help me with is to let go of my resistance, perhaps these occurrences are the evidence that this process is underway. If I am finally allowing myself to break through the barriers that have held me apart from my true “self”, then all of these things make sense. I am finding the courage to set limits and break old cycles. I have experienced the power and the ecstasy of opening my heart and releasing all that I have been holding on to. I am literally finding my voice and I’m able to listen and enjoy what I hear. I am able to recognize that the answers to the questions I seek are within me. I can accept that my “self” can remain present and need not disappear based on the feelings, the needs or the decisions of another. And I have been given a message from my mother that I never even imagined I needed to hear.
And, just like that, gratitude and forgiveness have replaced fear and doubt.
If that isn’t a miracle, I’m not sure what is.